taking a look back, to take a step forward

i feel as though life lately has been one huge “fast forward” and even though the day-to-day mundane can get me down sometimes, more often i find myself taking moments to appreciate the past year and really being thankful. this year has been crazy, enlightening, stressful, good, not-so-good.

this year i’ve been blessed with so many wonderful opportunities in my freelancing life that have jolted my confidence considerably. i am still in awe of how i’m writing for 2 publications, managing my own blog, and have been fortunate to connect with so many talented artisans, writers, and innovators. i enjoy every minute of it.  i feel like i’m forging a more clear direction for myself, discovering more of what i want, who i am, and where i want to be.

i never dreamed i’d have so much more happiness and enrichment in my freelancing sphere while feeling so stuck at my full-time day job– a place where i’ve honestly been feeling creatively and intellectually stagnant for a long time. where all this takes me, i’m still not so sure but it’s been nice to feel satisfied with the work and skills i’ve developed on the side and on my own.

writing and the power of social media have connected me with so many new friends this year. it makes me smile whenever i think of all the friendships i’ve made digitally and in-person. i’m grateful for friends who encourage me, teach me, and give me a reason to smile back at my computer. it’s amazing how green beauty, blogging, and the internet can bring people together!

even when i’m feeling down about the frequency of my blogging and trying to be “up-to-par” with the others out there, i’m reminded by my friends why i’m writing in the first-place. because it makes me happy and i love the feeling of contributing my voice to a community for good.  i feel encouraged when i hear that people enjoy my writing and remember that being the blogger who posts every day, has a thousand brand partnerships, is on social media 24/7, or is just writing for popularity is not me and it doesn’t have to be.

i’ve struggled with the pressures from blogging for money, demands from brand partnerships, and feeling incompetent against full-time bloggers. i’ve learned that no good comes out of comparing myself to others or agreeing to do things i don’t feel passionate about. i pride myself in composing genuine, quality, researched, timely pieces and never set out to win a popularity race.

a few weeks ago, i got engaged to my boyfriend of 5 years. it was a lovely surprise and we couldn’t be happier. my type-a personality already has me thinking about a wedding date, venues, guest list…. but for now i’m forcing myself to push aside those thoughts, take deep breaths and just enjoy the engagement period and looking forward to the big day, whenever that will be. (and okay, finally being able to indulge in stacks of wedding magazines…) now i’ve got my full-time job, blogging and freelancing work, and a wedding to plan, on-top of staying afloat in my personal life. life is getting a lot busier but i have all the more motivation to keep writing.

looking back on all the happenings of this year have me feeling happy, thankful, and excited for whatever may be in store. i’ve grown as an individual and feel stronger knowing i’ve matured but haven’t changed who i am or how i’m writing.  i know i have a bigger purpose far from what i can fathom right now in this moment, and meditating on that perspective keeps me hopeful and positive. every once in a while it’s humbling to take a look back in order to take a step forward.

thank you for reading and continuing to visit! 🙂

 

photo credits: 1 , 2