when the only place to move is forward…

movingforward

there’s no doubt there has been a lot of movement in my life recently. an upcoming wedding, a burgeoning blog, a full-time job, going back to school, friendships, faith, inner discovery– all the usual things. for a while, i’ve been feeling like my plate has been way too full and i’m constantly trying to keep up.

all this while i’ve been extremely preoccupied, weighed down by the burdens of feeling unfulfilled and stagnant in my day job, confused as to where my career was going. writing, photography, and the green beauty community make me so happy but i began feeling lost as to what i was really supposed to be doing with my life and how to feel as passionate as i do about my writing in a full-time career.

this should be a happy time, my mom reminded me- i am going to marry the love of my life, after all. where planning the biggest day of my life should have excited me, it only made me feel worse.

everyday i woke up not wanting to go to work and dreaded being in the office, around people who didn’t care about me, didn’t encourage my growth nor recognize my contributions, and put me in such a negative place. it’s tough when there is so much resistance and so little support. i’d been searching for new jobs and interviewing like crazy because like the planner i am, i knew i couldn’t leave my job without having a new one ready. it would be too irresponsible.

weeks and months went by and every lead i had fell through: so many rejections and dead ends. i was left angry, bitter, and even more depressed because nothing was going according to my plan. God’s plan for me is still unraveling and it’s times like these when i’m reminded, life is never the way you expect it to be but you have to have faith in what already is and what God wants for you. it may not always be aligned to your preference.

i like pleasing people, i like feeling secure of my life, and i never back down from challenges, but too often these behaviors have held me back and had a more hurtful impact in my life rather than good. i was struggling, it was evident in my persona internally and externally, and something had to give.

after many pep-talks from my family and friends, praying for a solution, and actually taking time off from work to just breathe, i made the hardest and non-Kasey-like decision i’d never thought i’d succumb to: i quit.

i handed in my two-week notice, packed up my mostly bare workspace, and gave up on the security and predictability of a job i’d been holding onto for so long that never gave much back.

that’s not to say i’m not grateful for the experience, for the struggle. i think it’s all a part of my story and my growth and i’ll be thankful for it someday, but i realized that the only place to move was forward. and that was a decision only i could make. leaving my job was the only way to get there.

i’m unsure of what’s next and that truly scares me, but i know this: i’m going to be happier and i’m going to do great things in the end. i have the potential, the desire and the willingness to grow.

i’m excited to have more time to focus on my freelance writing jobs and my blog, connecting with positive people, enjoying my family and friends, and planning my wedding, all while exploring the possibilities of the future. here’s to the future!

 

Image Source: weheartit

10 Comments

  1. Sarita Rosenhaus Coren October 21, 2015

    OH my Gosh, Kasey!! You did it!! What an awesome post. Thanks for sharing this scary but courageous step in your life. I remember learning a bit about Feng Shui that it’s necessary to clear out the cluttered areas in order to create space for new energy. That’s exactly what you did. Hooray! I’m excited for you. So…does that mean we get to hang out at those hot green beauty spots in Hoboken now? No doubt you need to get your nails done…of course, to prep for the big wedding day. 😉 Hope to see you soon! XO

    Reply
    • Kasey October 23, 2015

      Thank you for all your support and encouragement dear, Sarita! I’m so glad to have a friend like you 🙂 Yes, we’re definitely going to have more hang outs very soon! xo

      Reply
  2. Yeiza Reyes October 21, 2015

    Big congrats girls !!!! You took the most daring & brave step !! In taking value of who you are and walking with your heart !! I am sure what coming next is great & fill you with much happiness ! I did the same 2 years ago left a stable career , my home and everything . Came to the U.S with no idea what was going to happen or even my future . It was tough & hard time but I got to be with my mom all through her fight of cancer hold her hand & give her reason to keep going for life . Today life has reward back with been involved in the green community meets friend like you Kasey and many of the girls and Now making soaps and touring with my project Made conscious 🙂

    I am agree with Sarita It’s NJ time meet up for a green juice 🙂

    Green hugs lovely Kasey

    Reply
    • Kasey October 23, 2015

      So much love to you Yeiza! Thanks for always being so encouraging and a good friend. You’re have such an inspiring story and are so strong! 🙂 Can’t wait to hang out more with you soon xo

      Reply
  3. Well done miss! so happy for you!!! great decision! you are the master of your life, never forget!x

    Reply
    • Kasey October 23, 2015

      Thanks as always Audrey! xo

      Reply
  4. Tina Rudolf October 22, 2015

    This is sooo exciting! I am so happy for you! This is the beginning of something bold and beautiful! Here if you need any guidance 🙂

    Reply
    • Kasey October 23, 2015

      Yes! So grateful for your encouragement and friendship, Tina 🙂 Definitely could use some guidance, now that I have more time I’ll take you up on that… Can’t wait to hang out more too! xo

      Reply
  5. It takes courage to quit without a replacement job. I’m like you Kasey, I like the security of a regular salary. Wish you the best of luck in your future endeavours. I’m going through my own journey at the moment, in some ways similar to yours.

    Reply
    • Kasey October 23, 2015

      Thank you Hazel, it was a difficult decision but I definitely think it will lead to a happier path for me. It’s good to know there are others who feel the same as me. Wishing you all the best in your journey xo

      Reply

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